Key events
Goal! Tottenham 4-3 Manchester United (Evans, 90+4)
Oh wow! They couldn’t, could they? It came from a corner.
90+1 min: Reguillon comes on, from his dental issues, for Djed Spence, a new cult hero. Johnson on, Solanke on.
Six minutes added on.
90 min: A tale of two very poor goalkeeping performances.
89 min: Bayindir was weak there, and says Bergvall was pushing him. Nah, not good enough. Reminder: NO VAR in this competition. Does he know? That goal is a goal.
Goal! Tottenham 4-2 Manchester United (Son, 88)
Straight from a corner!
86 min: United have lost a bit of momentum here. Fraser Forster is taking his time with his goal-kicks. Yoro tackles Son, who looked to have created an attack for Spurs, for the first time in a long while. Son takes his time over the corner.
84 min: Bissouma is almost thrown into trouble by Forster, and Bruno fouls. Forster looks an utterly nervous wreck. Bissouma will take his time.
83 min: Diallo is everywhere, and Forster and Gray have all types of trouble in stopping his bull-like run.
82 min: Diallo drills one and Forster kicks clear. Shades of late-stage Pat Jennings or Pat Bonner. Amad soon gets another chance to shoot.
81 min: Spurs gain some territory at last. But Bayindir has it, before some poor passing on both sides.
79 min: All United, all the time. Mainoo fouled by a desperate Maddison, who is soon enough subbed off. Maddison is replaced by Bergvall, and will now miss the first leg of the semi.
77 min: Diallo is destroying them, and forces a corner. This one comes back out but United now magnetic for the ball.
76 min: Nigel gets in touch: “Having filled a Ute with something other than diesel i can say the feeling of despair and the realisation you will soon be out of pocket by a $1000 + can not be replicated by a mere entertainment.”
Bloody oath!
75 min: United have an overload. If Zirkzee fancied it, he could have been in goal. Mazraoui fires wide. Tottenham seem incapable of keeping the ball.
74 min: Back to Forster again….and launched. No Spurs players showing for it now.
73 min: Will Forster play a goal-kick short? No, he gets it launched.
72 min: Maybe Ange was right about his job being harder than the prime minister. Does Sir Keir Starmer have to ask Fraser Forster to play out of defence?
71 min: If you want to see a more Spurs goal than that, then you will struggle. Garnacho is on for Ugarte. Spurs are still winning but…well.
Goal! Tottenham 3-2 Manchester United (Diallo, 70)
Ball passed back to Forster and Amad slides in and deflects the ball in.
69 min: Tottenham fans sound very nervous indeed. Maddison is down, and taking the steam out of things. Amorim is sending on Garnacho, one of the derby dropped.
67 min: Bissouma almost knocks into his own net….oh, Spurs. Corner sees Amad drill a shot and that’s another corner. Kulusevski is the man who deals out his defence.
66 min: Giles B: “As a spurs fan, I’m thinking of 2020 when we were 3-0 up at home to Wham after 82 mins, only to concede 3 late goals”
Someone – was it Ange? – shouts: “You cannot be serious?” John McEnroe vibes.
64 min: Ange looks like someone’s filled his ute with diesel rather than four star. Amorim suddenly looks full of beans.
Goal! Tottenham 3-1 Manchester United (Zirkzee, 63)
Comedy stuff. Forster tries to play the ball out and in steps Bruno, and a pass inside and Zirkzee scores.
63 min: Fraser Forster is worked by a header that skids almost away from the giant keeper. It ends up a fine save.
61 min: Lisandro has been, as they say in Manchester, been torn a new one by Kulusevski. Bissouma cranks into Diallo. No foul, no injury.
60 min: Matthew Lysaght gets in touch: “At what stage do we label Lisandro Martinez an injury prone liability? He’s one of many, granted, but he seems to have avoided a lot of criticism over the last couple of seasons.”
Yes, a few fans fell for his initial performances, and his dirty play but he’s joining the ‘bust’ pile soon enough.
59 min: Either Spurs spurs this or Manchester United go to the brink of their latest tailspin.
57 min: Kulusevski, all muscle and power and ability – just what United lack – forces a corner. Bayindir collects it.
55 min: Those United changes: Antony, Eriksen and Hojlund off. Were they the worst United players? Not especially? United have been awful in defence rather than attack.
Goal! Tottenham 3-0 Manchester United (Solanke, 54)
An aching gap in the United defence, Martinez and Evans misread each other’s version of an offside trap and Solanke cuts in, and scores. Great finish, terrible defending.
53 min: It’s time for Diallo, Mainoo and Zirkzee to come on…but what would be the point?
52 min: “Spurs are on their way to Wembley, Tottenham’s gonna do it again.” For the first time since 2008?
50 min: Camera shot of the United brains trust of Berrada, Brailsford and Wilcox. Big Sir Jim’s men have not sorted nearly enough.
48 min: Tottenham fans jubilant, and sing their song that celebrates Spurs….but definitely not Daniel Levy.
47 min: Ruben Amorim is on his haunches, shades – in these parts of the AVB days. That was an awful clearance by Martinez. Casual, nothing smart about it.
Goal! Tottenham 2-0 Manchester United (Kulusevski, 46)
Son out left – again – awful clearance by Martinez and Kulusevski gives Bayindir the eyebrows to score.
Back underway….
And well, Tottenham start like a train…
Tim Bird gives me the bird: “I thought Spurs looked OK in that half and not so far off being Spurs as you said. Unless you meant Spursy. Defence worked well, some nice attacking play. Are you a gooner?”
No, Tim.
The great Kari Tulinius gets in touch: “Good point about sporting directors. The last few years of Mehchester United has me reconsidering the importance of managers. Yes, at a well run club, a good manager can be the difference between heartbreak and glory, but what can anyone expect from a manager who has to work with a squad when the 3rd choice centre half is a couple of weeks shy of his 37th birthday? A good squad has always been the most important factor for success.”
Brian Robson gets in touch: “So stats say that Marcus Rashford is ahead of Anthony Gordon….would this be in tackles, shutting down opponents, harrying other forwards and supporting his left back (I know, I’m 69 years old) or the biggest one, of just giving an arse about his employers and wage payers? I don’t think so.”
Half-time: Tottenham 1-0 Manchester United
It’s been low quality, aside from the sharpness of Dom Solanke in seizing on Bayindir’s mistake to score. United are way off being Manchester United. Tottenham are some way off being Spurs. Much to play for.
45+1 min: Two minutes added on in which Dalot sets up Eriksen to have a shot blocked by Archie Gray.
45 min: Lindelof is hurt, and on comes Jonny Evans. Lindelof is very upset as he makes down the tunnel. Jonny Evans meanwhile can tell his teammates about the days he played with Charlie Mitten and Allenby Chilton. He’s surely signed up for a spot on the Overlap.
44 min: Poor use of the second ball from United from that corner. It was bouncing and there to be hit. Reguillon spotted on the bench – United legend – Ange said yesterday he he had been bed-ridden with a dental problem. Sounds nasty.
43 min: Archie Gray shows a cool head in nodding behind. Eriksen will whip in his corner, and Spence knocks it behind for another from the other side.
41 min: Bruno’s cross to the back post but no takers.
Justin Kavanagh: “Thanks Charles Antaki for bringing back fond schoolboy memories of the great López Ufarte. We once had a competition in the back row in French class to slip his name into an essay on, I think, unemployment. I recall referring to him as the “aromatic French football legend, López Ufarte,” which wasn’t an easy translation in those pre-Google search days. As for Ange, yes, cut him some slack, as he was probably using Boris Johnson’s party-at-my-place days as the measuring stick in his job comparison.”
40 min: Son and Kulusevski link, but the ball stabbed by the skipper finds the Swede offside.
38 min: United, the generics, have picked up a bit here. Fernandes had a shot saved, and Hojlund’s runs are asking questions of Porro.
36 min: OK, here’s the deal. I have been following United since the 1984-5 season, every game and it might be my age but every time I watch them in 2024 I see a face I don’t recognise. There’s someone there with a generic, almost unknowable face. Is this AI United? Is this age?
35 min: Spurs want a penner when Solanke goes down. Nah, he just fell over.
34 min: Ugarte makes a fine interception from a cross by Kulusevski. That’s a corner.
32 min: Dalot, on the left, has to sweep up some Spurs danger.
Rob gets in touch: “And to think Manchester United went from De Gea/Henderson to Onana/Bayindir. More great transfer work by Ten Hag.”
Bit harsh on both keepers. Maybe blame the sporting director, too.
30 min: Dalot to Antony but blocked then Bruno makes a mess with his attempt to play the ball back into space.
28 min: Spence and Gray get in a mess as United press. That’s an unfamiliar back four.
27 min: This is opening up, neither team in control. United yet to challenge that callow Spurs defence. Son is targeted at Mazraoui and Yoro, according to the stats, 77% of the ball coming that way.
26 min: Mazraoui booked for a foul on Spence. He misread that, badly. Kulusevski turns beyond Bruno and that’s so well saved by Bayindir. Better.
25 min: Eriksen whips it, but on to the top of the net. A waste.
24 min: Sarr fouls Bruno in the inside-left position. That’s a suspension for the semi-final first leg.
